I piss a lot. Sometimes, I poop.
If you're not into awkward, fat, sometimes funny, blue haired, oversharing stoners who don't shave or wear a bra, keep scrolling
Butt, if that's your bag, I'll see you right back here regularly, because once I learn this site, I will be a scheduling machine & you'll be getting a shit tonne of my archives as well as new content!
Twitter: @HerEllaness | Instagram: HerEllaness | Manyvids: Her-Ellaness | Email: beg4ella@gmail.com
Hand washing and hot flashes.
I sneak back into the bathroom because once against I've waited just a little too long for relief. I rinse my hands, and the running water makes the desperate need to piss even more urgent. I bounced my way to the toilet and proceeded to pee for more than 20 seconds.
I adjust in my seat, knowing it's going to be a big one. You know that feeling when even if you don't feel like there's any more shit inside your intestines, but you give another push and a surprising amount somes out? again? Every time you heard me push, it was enough that it could have been its own separate shit clip each felt so big. And yet, it was all on one clip.
I peel my liner off, but it's covered in sweat, not urine, because I'm experiencing a full body sweat. I toss the liner in the garbage, lamenting, just a little, over the money going into the trash. The money whore heart in me breaks just a little as I wipe up the sweaty crevices and flash you the inside of the toilet before I flushed.
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I sneak back into the bathroom because once against I've waited just a little too long for relief. I rinse my hands, and the running water makes the desperate need to piss even more urgent. I bounced my way to the toilet and proceeded to pee for more than 20 seconds.
I peel my liner off, but it's covered in sweat, not urine, because I'm experiencing a full body sweat. I toss the liner in the garbage, lamentong, just a little, over the money going into the trash. The money whore heart in me breaks just a little as I wipe up the sweaty crevices and turn the camera off without ever showing you the inside of the toilet.
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My agoraphobia might lead you to believe that I never go anywhere, but this was filmed after being out in public. I hate using public bathrooms, so if we're only going to one stop, I hold it until I can get back home.
Despite doing kegals & wearing ben wa balls, the reality is that I've birthed twice, so sneezing, laughing, driving over bumpy roads, & coughing are all risky things to do now. So I wear a liner when I need to, but the money whore in me of course is like.. "There's gotta be a market for that."
The lack of inside the toilet was intentional, I wanted you to focus on the 40+ seconds of piss as it flowed and the liner as it got removed & replaced, because I want to know.. Is there a market for it?
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The very first clip you see is a wet fart that both startled & embarrassed me at the time it happened because I was not expecting it, I was not versed in selling scat, and I was only looking to film a toilet bowl fart. It turned out I couldn't trust that fart, as you can see by the follow up still of inside the toilet before I flushed.
The second clip in my compilation is my first public bathroom piss pre-covid. Which was not actually my first piss clip so it's odd that it showed up in my archives out of order, the next one is the first piss clip I ever recorded.
I was bored one day & decided to see if I could pee standing up & decided to record it because I knew it would be funny & that I would love it. It wasn't well received which is why this compilation is so short. So after the last 2 fart clips posted, I went back to vanilla porn. I'm glad I found this place.
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"I like that angle," I say at the beginning of the clip after I set up and hit record. I'm thinking of how beautiful my hair looked in a high ponytail and my ass as I dried my hands. Speaking of ass in leggings, I'm hanging my sweater next to the towel so you get a look at my favorite asset before I sit down for a 30+ second long stream of piss.
As I sit in the editing room, I realize that because I shaved the back of my head, the hair looks really thin back there without the ponytail. Maybe that's a sign that I need to grow my Mohawk back out! I will be letting the shave grow out to keep my head warm over the winter after all! Maybe in the spring, I'll redo the Mohawk, Bleach & Dye! Oh, I'm so excited now! Also, that pee was amazing, but since I'm not flushing for you, you're going to have to look at my boobs as I turn off the camera.
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I put the camera behind me again because I loved the look of the cascading ponytail, but apparently, with the back of my head shaved, when my hair is down, it's quite thin in the back.
Maybe I should grow my Mohawk back out to prevent that in the future. It would be fun to have more hair to play with anyway. I'm concerned about hot flashes since I am perimenopausal though which is why I keep the bottom half shaved.
Anyway, after a lyrically long piss, you can hear as I begin to push. One plop, two plops, and so on. How many did you count? Pay close attention. You can't cheat either by trying to count the pieces of shit in the toilet as I flush either! Mostly on account that the lighting sucks, I need to replace a light bulb if I'm going to start showing inside when I flush..
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It's Monday morning, I'm in my pj's, I need to pee, and I need to get the day started. It's the first pee of the day, so I know it's going to be longer than 20 seconds, so I don't bother counting. I just sit and relax. This is the only me time I'm going to have this morning, so I allow myself to get lost in it.
Once I'm finished pissing I rest on top of my thighs, shuttering once I reach earth again. Once I gather myself, I wipe & peel the liner off that I was too tired to remove the night before so I can let the kitty breathe. And with one last yawn, I flush, wash my hands, and begin my day. I'll see you tomorrow!
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Since I already know that I'm gonna run out of spoons and need to recover for a few days. I decided to do some house cleaning. My mind had gotten so wrapped up in puttering that I don't remember the last thing I touched, so I rinsed my hands before pissing.
Since I'm already performing my housewife duties. I close the sliding glass doors before I sit down to pee. Can I just say how much I love my hair in a high point from this camera angle? I love the way the color cascades down. That reminds me, I redyed my hair! I can't wait for these scheduled posts to finish so you can see it. I'm so excited!
Also, can we take a moment to talk about how fabulous this shirt is? The color, the baggy fit, the comfort of the fabric. I don't think that I could love a shirt as much as I love this one ever again.
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The money whore in me. You know, no matter what I do, no matter where I go. I'm always looking for an opportunity to make a buck or two.. thousand.. I love that for me. I went out today, so I see a few missing days in my future... erm.. past.. because spoonie recovery sucks.
Anyway.. sitting down on the toilet in my brand new top (can be worn as long shirt or summer dress) I barely get a chance to pull my leggings all the way down and sit when I start pissing. My hand begins to tremor, my eyes begin to water, my nose begins to run, and all I can do is feel every sensation as my soul leaves my body.
As I begin to come to, I look down and see the liner I'm still wearing because I went out in public today. It's time to pull it off! Then the money whore in me kicks in. "I should sell my liners," I mean.. there's a market for everything, right? and I wear them regularly enough that I could. So the question remains.. Should I?
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As I peel off my sweater to hang it, I'm changing omg, omg, omg, because I just know this is going to be a life changing experience. Part of my self care was setting reminders for myself to eat because if I don't eat enough, this is how I start shitting. I settle in for a mind altering 30 seconds of piss.
The only way I can really describe what happened next is.. That I began pissing out of my ass.. small in size and in number were the pellets coming out of my ass. It was mostly that mucus that comes out when you forget to eat for long periods of time. As fun as it was to film & show you, I think it's a sign that I need to set reminders on my phone to eat again.. Anyway, enjoy looking inside my toilet as I flush the runny shit away. I'll see you tomorrow.
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As I peel off my sweater to hang it, I'm doing the pee-pee dance and finishing it off with a something that can only be described as a cross between a bounce and a squat.
I'm changing omg, omg, omg, because I just know this is going to be a life changing experience. I settle in for a mind altering 30 seconds of piss.
No shivering, no shuttering, just a beautiful, long stream of piss so good that it began & ended with an omg. I need more bathroom getaways like this one.
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I find comfort in tidying as I wander about the house, so before I sit down to pee, I do some basic tasks until the sense of urgency overwhelms me, and I need to sit.
I shuffle over to the toilet and slide my leggings down, shuttering as I go, pissing the moment my ass touches the seat. For the next 40+ seconds, I'm transported into another dimension. By the time I was finished, my nose was runny & my eyes were watering. I even had to wipe them before wiping away the urine.
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As I am editing, I see some blue on my grey spaghetti strap top. My birthday cake was blue, so I guess I got some on my shirt. Oh no.. Did I get icing in my hair when I redid my high ponytail? Because I noticed the blue on my hand after I redid it.
Nevermind. Focus on my ass as I dry my hands & sit down on the toilet.
For someone who was just bouncing up and down as I was changing the toilet roll, I sure am taking my time sitting to pee. The 30-plus seconds of pissing are worth it, though. From desperation to euphoric relief. As the stream comes to an end, I grab toilet paper & wipe. Suddenly, it's clear to me why I've been so horny lately.. I'm ovulating.
I wash my hands again, and as I go to dry them, a shampoo seal sticks to the bottom of my foot & I toss it in the garbage. I'll clean my foot downstairs, I'm out of wet wipes, so paper towel located in the kitchen will do. I have a fire starter hack for less waste!
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Tired and tinkling. I entered the bathroom because I felt something sticky on my fingernail. *yawns* I make my way to the toilet and slide my leggings down and sit. I'm greeted with 20 glorious seconds of pissing followed by an adorable toilet bowl fart.
What a chore it is to be me. *yawns* Turning around to flush the toilet, I debate whether I need coffee or to go lay down. As I finish washing & drying my hands, I yawn for a third time & a decision has been made.. I'm going to go eat some more birthday cake.
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There's a movie quote about a turtle head popping out of someone's ass. That's literally how it felt as I picked up my sweater off the floor to hang it. And it feels like it's gnawing at my butthole too because it's one of those shits that feels like broken glass as it gets excreted from my asshole.
I'm not pushing this poop out. Oh no, those faces & grunts are being made because I'm breathing through it & waiting for nature to work at its own pace. Even wiping my butt afterward is uncomfortable, and my sphincter feels.. loose. I need to reconstruct my butthole after that shit.
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Is it just me, or is my ass amazing in those marble leggings? Anyway, today's trip to the bathroom is an extended stay because after my 20-second long piss I needed to brush my tongue after coffee.
I just ordered a multipack hismile toothpaste, so I'm using up the last of what I have here before I start with the deliciousness. So you get to listen to me as I brush my mouth and gag on my toothbrush. Enjoy.
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Was that a wet fart? First off, all hail the mismatch pj's. I love them. Secondly, 2 farts in a clip, like, never happens, so I'm proud of myself. And third? I have no idea, but lists always have a third, right? So I thought typing it would give me an idea, but *shoulder shrug*
Anyway, back to the watersports.. Umm.. tada!
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My bratty beau went out, so I thought he'd be tired when he came back. I waited until he laid down to rest before peeing. As soon as he heard my piss hit the toilet, I heard him get out of bed and shuffle between the bedroom and the hallway.
He didn't even try to hide that he wanted to listen in, so I stayed in the bathroom a little longer, blowing my nose to pass time. Once I was doing that I heard him go back in the bedroom, but I wasn't taking any chances. I turned the camera off before leaving the bathroom.
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The blue tye dye shirt and the grey & yellow pj pants look terrible together, but it's Monday & the clothes are comfortable, so I don't care. Also, I really need to shit & the toilet paper is out in the bathroom.
As you can tell by the bold, leaving of the door open & lights on, that I filmed while hubby wasn't home, haha! He had errands to run, I had a coffee poop on the way, so it worked out!
While going back & and editing, tho I'm kicking myself for not turning out the light. Don't be like me, turn out the lights behind you, it saves on your electric bill. Now that I've enriched your life with knowledge.. pay my electric bill.
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Mismatch Monday. The blue tye dye shirt and the grey & yellow pj pants look terrible together, but it's Monday & the clothes are comfortable, so I don't care. Also, I really need to pee & the toilet paper is out in the bathroom.
As you can tell by the bold, leaving of the door open & lights on, that I filmed while hubby wasn't home, haha! He had errands to run, I had an outside world I didn't want to be out in, so it worked out!
While going back & and editing, tho I'm kicking myself for not turning out the light. Don't be like me, turn out the lights behind you, it saves on your electric bill. Now that I've enriched your life with knowledge.. pay my electric bill.
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